What’s on my mind as we reach the end of September is an on-going theme that has emerged in therapy with my clients in the past 6 months – transitions. In the past month, if you are a
parent, your child began school for the first time without masks required. They may even be back in school full time in person for the first time in two years. In the past 6 months there has been a similar transition in the work force for many of my clients who may have been fully remote, now returning to the office for a hybrid schedule or full time in person. In NYC, as soon as September hit, we were immediately greeted with a slight bite of cold, light jackets, and sweatshirts. We are entering a new season in many ways.
In working through transitions with my clients we find ourselves exploring what transitions mean and how we enter them. If we really break it down, life is a series of transitions. Each moment is the ending and beginning of a new transition. It’s not a one size fits all with regard to how we enter a transition. However, what helps is slowing down when possible. Observe what is happening inside your body and outside. How are you moving through this transition? Is it with panic and tension? Is it with deliberate action and awareness? Did you somehow leave the house and somehow get to your destination or are you aware of how you go there?
Being aware of comfort, discomfort, happiness, pain, etc. is key to addressing what you need during transitions. This is a practice of mindfulness. Mindfulness isn’t a practice of being calm all the time. Mindfulness is a practice of being aware and being present. For example, when you are being present and mindful, you may observe you are experiencing emotional discomfort. Compassionately observing discomfort – not ignoring it, denying its existence, or chastising yourself for experiencing it, is mindful act. Now you have an opportunity to intentionally address it. By the same token, be willing to mindfully observe comfort, not ignore it, deny its existence or chastise yourself for experiencing it is a mindful act.
Mindfulness, like a workout, requires on-going practice. You don’t just get there. You have to keep working the muscle. A mindful practice for transitions I would like to suggest is to think about being present during usual rituals that you engage in during the day. If you make coffee in the morning, workout your mindful muscle by using your 5 senses to engage in the process of preparation. See the white filter, the ridges, and the light feather feel of it. Hear the crackle of the bag of coffee beans as you open the package. Smell the coffee beans, see the color. Do you hear the sounds of the coffee beans when you pour it into the grinder. Smell the coffee. And take time to taste it. There are steps, I didn’t include on here that you will also experience. Notice when your mind floats to something else and come back to this moment. By the way, noticing your mind wander, if you actually noticed it wander, is mindful! Notice and gently walk your mind back to the coffee.
